The loud "NO"

Why do we hear such a loud “NO”  in the Evangelical Church related to sex, sexuality, and gender questioning?

As I’ve studied, listened, read, and prayed, that is not what I’ve heard from the Lord or seen in the scriptures. 

So where is the disconnect? Why does the church seem to be yelling “no”, and the scriptures (to me) speak in such a positive and winsome way about God’s design? To me this is a huge misconception the church holds onto and it damages our teaching, pushes LGBTQ people away, pushes young adults in general away, and presents a distorted view of who God is.

You see, if I read the Bible starting in Genesis, I see an incredibly loving God forming a man and a woman who would be able to connect deeply in their gender and sexual differences. Adam (man) seems so stoked to wake up and see Eve (woman). You see, he’d been naming all the animals and finding no one fitted to walk beside him. He wakes up and is given a beautiful gift by a God and Father who sees him so well and knows what he will delight in.

God designed them to fit together physically, to be physically naked and vulnerable together, and to connect deeply. And at the end of Genesis chapter 2, God explains what marriage is. How a man leaves his family of origin and is united to his wife in a miracle called “one flesh”.

It’s astounding to me that in the first few words of scripture, we see God showing huge care and love for His creations. We see Him designing sex and sexuality on purpose.

Purposely creating a visual aid or metaphor- marriage. This picture was created so that we could envision the kind of deep and encompassing love that the Father has for us. First referring to Israel, and then to us, believers in Jesus, we would be called “the bride of Christ”.

This picture shines so brightly to me in the pages of scripture that I often think of the whole Bible as one large love story- and that sometimes causes friends to poke fun at me!

So for real- how have we become the people of “no”?

Instead of yelling “no” to those who think gay sex is included in God’s design; could we instead be able to express God’s design in marriage and sexuality in an appealing and attractive way? 

We clearly say “no” to identifying as transgender or non-binary. Could we first clearly explain God’s design in created sex differences in a winsome manner? In this culture, it is crucial for us to be able to speak lovingly to this topic.

Surely we’ve also been crystal clear that we are saying “no '' to gay marriage. Yet, can we, and those in our church bodies, explain why sex difference is necessary in God’s marriage metaphor using engaging and compassionate arguments? Our teens know that they are to save sex for marriage, but do they understand the beautiful Why?

Please do not hear what I’m not saying.

I firmly believe in sound doctrine. 

I believe in a beautifully designed marriage between a man and a woman.

I believe our birth sex is seen and known by a God who created specific differences between the genders for His glory and purposes.

I believe in communicating that sound doctrine down through the generations.

I believe that this sound doctrine produces flourishing in all the areas of our life- because a loving and wise God created it that way.

I also firmly believe it is not intended to be a list of “yes” and “no” . There are yes’s and no’s- but in a culture that is not familiar with a loving and pursuing God who knows the very best path for us, we need to embody the  love, gentleness, kindness, and wisdom of our Father. 

We paint a picture of Him with all our words and actions.

Let’s work towards painting the masterpiece that He is.