I intend...again

Good intentions. Intending well for someone. Having the ‘best’ of intentions.

We return again to my series of intentions. How am I, how are you, going to live out the various numbers of days that we are given here?

A  friend recently told me,

“ you appear random in your interactions, but after watching you for these number of years, I do not believe you are random at all.”

Once I really reckoned with the truth that my days were numbered, literally, being random or wasting days and seasons just doesn’t seem to be the wise option.

I vividly remember the day that my husband Shawn and I talked about the reality that our kids were going to graduate high school in six years. We had six years of undivided time with them and we did not want to waste a minute of those.

I also remember the lunch discussion where Shawn and I purposed to take a Spring Break trip with all the “kids” during their senior year. We knew that life would change once they graduated college and had “real jobs”, so we wanted to take this time with them individually. Our family had grown during these college years with a couple beloved adults joining us, so “building” time, “relationship low ropes” became the norm for us. But this individual time during their senior years was a special gift to us.

These decisions and moments, not just with our family, but with our friends, with those I’ve discipled, and with campers have shaped the value and intention of:

Much of life is about showing up, being genuinely present, and doing that over and over for the long haul.

In our world today, it seems that long term relationships are fairly rare. 

Why is that? Why are we not committed to relationship with people that lasts decades? 

With all of our technology: texting, messaging, video calls, zoom, marco polo,  etc… it should be easy, right?

There’s the rub. We have every available tool, but it still takes time and intention. 

Time.

Intention.

Without these two things, I will have very limited impact on those people around me that God has specifically placed in my life and in your life.

Do you want to impact the people around you for good? 

What does discipleship look like in your life?

Are your relationships primarily for your own benefit, or are you looking to add value to those around you?

Once I answer those questions in a way that positions me looking outward at those I’ve been entrusted with, then I can get started in the simple routine of : showing up, being really present when I show up, and doing that over and over again.

We all need to realize that our actual presence matters. At events, at special occasions, at ordinary lunches and play dates. Showing up consistently builds relationship. Showing up builds trust. Showing up demonstrates value for the person you are showing up for.

But we all know that we can be physically present and have our mind a million miles away. Our eyes can be locked onto a screen, answering texts and emails, shooting out a tweet, posting on instagram or snapchat. Showing up and remaining completely present during the time demonstrates value and respect for someone in ways that our words just cannot do. 

Recently, I was sitting with someone that I didn’t know very well. He asked me a question about myself, and then a followup question about how I had replied. The next time that I saw him, he asked again about the situation I had shared about. He remembered names and details. 

I reflected later how incredibly valued I felt that he showed up, and was completely present and engaged when he showed up. We have yet to see about the long haul (remember- I don’t know him that well…), but he’s made a rather large impact in this short time just by being present and engaged.

Who is in your sphere of influence?

Who are you impacting on a daily basis? Kids, friends, spouses, family, house mates...the list could go on. 

Once you identify ‘who’, then you can begin asking yourself questions like the above. Do you want to impact those around you enough to take the time to invest and the energy to be intentional?

Be honest with yourself.

So, what I’d really like to challenge you with today are these short sentences:

Show up.

Be completely present when  you show up.

Do that over and over.

It will take time. It will take intentionality. 

To me, it is the only way to live.

If you like the idea of being more intentional, you can read some of my other ‘intentions’ here, here, here, and here!